The Kid, by Dan Savage

Published in 2000. 256 p.

Rating: 5 stars

Summary: Dan Savage and live-in boyfriend Terry Miller decide to do what conservative America fears most: adopt a child! They get chosen by a street punk, Melissa, fairly far along in her pregnancy, and have to overcome their fear of each other (and of children) to successfully adopt her baby boy with an open adoption. Includes lots of political and historical points of reference about adoption, especially for same-sex couples.

Review: I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: I love Dan Savage. If he weren’t gay, he’d be in trouble.

This was actually the first Savage book I read, and it made me a huge fan. The book is both heartwarming and hysterical, sarcastic and adorable. It was brought to my attention in a class in college, when a classmate brought in an excerpt from the book as his or her choice for (at least mostly) unknown non-fiction writer. The excerpt was so funny, that I went out and bought the book, and read it straight away.

One of the things I love most about Savage is that he includes so much background information about everything (I know I’ve said it before, but I’m saying it again!) He writes to the person who doesn’t know what its like to be a gay male couple, to the person who has no one idea what its like the adopt a kid, or to raise one. He gives you all the information you need to understand what the heck is going on, no matter who you are, so you can have full enjoyment of the scenarios he describes.

Savage’s voice is the best part of the book. He is so sarcastic, so cynical, but really wants to cry at the really important moments. He is so human, and unabashedly so. He points out his own flaws, Terry’s flaws, Melissa’s flaws, and the flaws of everybody else around. He is what many people would think of as a “terrible person,” but he’s really just quite honest, and his honesty is so blunt that it is downright funny. It helps that the situations are fairly extreme: their surrogate Momma is a homeless “gutter punk” who drank and drugged her way through her first trimester (before she realized that she was preggers.) The family dynamic (super quiet Miller parents and his own outspoken Catholic mother) adds quite a bit of entertainment value as well.

This is not one of those esoteric books that wins awards, but it is a social commentary that is important in its own right. Savage is an example of a much hated minority that is coming out of the proverbial closet in society, and does so with grace and humor. He deals with the challenges of being a gay man in a society that does not always accept him and his choices, and his realization of and solutions to some of the hardships he will face as the head of the multi-father household that his son will grow up in is an amazing example of the resilience of a minority population in general, and same-sex couples specifically.

I would absolutely recommend this book to anyone with an open enough mind. I have already recommended it to gay couples who are/will be looking into starting families in the near future, and also to friends who are not gay or thinking about children, because the book is just that freakin’ funny. Go read. Now.